Hmmph.. Nothing much happen recently.. but just some thought of mine..
Woke up quite early morning today.. Around 8am.. Went down.. have a cup of milo.. with biscuits.. listen songs with my hp.. The atmosphere is just nice.. It was quiet.. and really have the feeling of day dreaming.. dreamt for almost an hour.. suddenly housemate woke up liao.. that was when i stopped and continue sleeping.. till noon.. =p
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Anyway.. day dreamt alot.. And i really like it.. Dreamt bout her.. Wonder bout my single life.. and i think bout so many stuffs.. and would like to share a little of course.. I even tot of making a list out.. but that gonna take a long time.. so.. nvm.. next time mayb.. a list of ppl that i appreciate.. who have big impact in my life.. i would really like to list them out.. at least i have a chance to thank them and all (if there's really (touchwood) something bad happen to me..)
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I have alwiz like to live in my history.. i really like my past.. mayb cuz each time i think bout it.. i would onli think bout those sweet moments that i have had in the past.. that's y i like it very much..
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There r just too many ppl i would like to list them out.. anyway.. let me just list a few of them 1st.. (1 more thing - the position doesnt matter much k - a little mayb) I apologise if u dun like me to put ur name here.. but just wanna tell u that that is where u r..
-Tan Yoke Teng
-My Family
-Wong Theen Yoong
-Kevin Yee Peng Kee
-Lisa Khoo Suan Kim
-Chua Ang Tze & Leong Ai Leng
-Scout frenz
-Dota gang (Ken.. Jia Hun.. etc)
-Few of my F6's classmates (Yuan Lih.. etc)
-The SAB-ians + susu + Jin Kiat
-My coursemates especially the 2
-Sakai gang?
*Sorry if i really leave out a few of u..
*This list is just for this moment.. there will be changes as time goes by..
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I really appreciate all the moment that we have spent together.. There r sweet and memorable..
*Dun be sad bcuz it's over, be happy bcuz it happened*
Really a good phrase.. and I have alwiz hold onto this phrase..
Next time i gonna eleborate on each of the 1 i list there.. really wanna thank 1 by 1..
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Tan Yoke Teng
Haha.. never really tot that after almost 2 years of breaking up.. u can now be on the top of my list.. anyway.. mayb i've grown more mature and start thinking back bout the past.. and realised tat.. u're really a very very good gal.. (I know i know.. there r still alot out there.. and i may find some1 better.. but this is for now) We have spent 1 year plus together.. ppl might say that it's onli 1 year.. and that's not long.. but for me.. spending 1 year plus together.. meeting each other in skul everyday.. and even weekends at times.. spending almost everyday after skul for lunch and all.. it makes me feel like being together for years.. and i've already adapted to the lifestyle.. speaking cantonese and expressing myself in english.. the way we communicate with each other.. the way u blended into my family.. The way u made my family closer.. blah blah blah.. all in all.. u're just great.. letting u go was one of the worst thing that i've done.. Anyway.. i've understood that that was the past.. and that i also accepted it.. just that at times.. those memories will flashback.. Things had happened.. and if i were to ask u to accept me back.. haha things wun b the same.. i bet we will probably be kekok and stuffs.. and i dun really put much hope here also.. just wanna tell u that.. i really appreciates all the moment we spent together.. all the ups and downs that we have been thru.. anyway.. i will still be there as always.. and i hope to have some news from u also.. mayb some major change in ur life.. (going thru surgery and stuffs.. i understand that u wun have the time n all to report to few person.. but i hope to know if there's really any special things happen to u.. whether they r good or bad) I will alwiz pray for u.. god bless..
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My Family
This is the hard thing.. how would i say.. Hmmph.. Guess im mature enough to comment.. Im already 21.. Dad and Mum.. I might not b a good son.. And I cannot really blame u guys also.. Cuz i know u guys work real hard for us.. But.. Im not sure whether u guys realise it anot.. I dunno what it means by love.. and im searching hard for it when i was young.. Frankly.. i have not really feel any love from u guys.. (by actions, by words nor heart..) All that i know.. was that.. u guys work real hard.. but din really spend much time on me.. and that's y i have alwiz put priority on my frenz.. cuz home is not the place that i could really find the word love.. But as i grow up.. ok.. i can feel a little.. but not by actions n stuffs.. is just the feeling.. cuz u guys still the 1 who brought me up.. parents.. i know i know.. there r so many phrase.. *which parents dun sayang their children and stuffs* but somehow.. a little hard.. Anyway.. I shud thank u guys also.. The way u guys treated 3 of us.. the way how strict u guys treated us had finally made us the men n woman.. The way u scolded us.. punished us and stuffs.. That have made me called myself independent since secondary.. tat i can handle my stuffs myself.. i seek help from frenz.. and not family.. i dun wanna burden u guys.. anyway.. really thanks alot for bringing me up all these years.. haha.. dun worry.. mum.. u alwiz say that u're afraid that no1 gonna 'yeung' u when u gets old.. dun worry bout it la.. 3 of us know wat to do.. or at least i do.. and dad.. haha.. sorry for all the scoldings that i've done.. I knew that i shudnt be shouting at u at times.. but.. sigh.. i apologise.. but i really hope that u will know ur faults.. bro n sis.. nothing much.. just hope that u guys gonna have a great life ahead.. take care my family.. haha.. n here is the 1st time i guess.. the 1st time i say that out.. not verbally.. but at least something.. I Love You guys..
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Em.. 1 thing.. those who have read here.. u dun have to mention anything in front of me.. this is another private thing that i consider.. so.. if u wanna leave comment.. just leave it here.. hope that this is not gonna be another public topic.. Hope that u understand.. I just feel like writing it out here onli..
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Till the next time i blog again.......
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Carez
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*^-^* NicyaN *^-^*